Self Care

Now this is a topic I LOVE!

Now… it’s not all rainbows and sunshine, face masks and bubble baths (even though that feels sooo nice!)
Sometimes self care is getting out of bed and brushing your teeth, or actually showering. Sometimes it’s having the strength to run a brush through your hair or having a glass of water.

With depression and other mental health issues on the rise and people actually talking about it, it can come across to some who don’t battle it like, “Why can’t you do those basic things?”. Well I haven’t been diagnosed but I have my moments where showering takes so much effort. (Please call 1-800-662- HELP (4357) if you feel like you need to reach out and talk to someone about your depression.).
I would turn to YouTube videos to see what my favorite influencers were up to.
Now I know they were just trying to share what they do and as much as I love watching routine videos, (You know, bed time routine, my fall evening routines, My early morning 5am routine) it can sometimes leave me feeling a little down and out because I just sometimes don’t have the gumption and sometimes I am just so hard on myself for not doing it perfectly like the others! I’d get so excited and inspired by these videos and I would set out the nail polish and pick out the face masks and purchase the bath bombs and then well, bomb on my own and leave those things out for a week or more before putting them away.

I’m here to say, it is OKAY to not have the energy sometimes. Now, I say sometimes please if you feel like you are battling something bigger it’s okay to reach out for help and talk to someone.
What I’m trying to convey is that self care doesn’t have to be some big extravagant spa day.

Simplicity.

Make it simple! If we try to hard to keep up with the Jones’s we’ll never truly learn how to take care of ourselves. That is the most important part! Learn what works for you. I have 4 simple tips to keep you feeling your best when you feel your worst.

Go outside.
You don’t have to go on a walk or a hike, unless you want to if you feel it in the moment do it! Move it before you lose it! Just put your toes in the grass and sit down to feel the breeze. Read a book, or bring out your iPad and watch Netflix or write a blog! Listen to a podcast (Know Your Aura is my FAVORITE), and just sit outside and soak up the sun (wear sunscreen…seriously). Breathing in the fresh air just feels so good!

Call or Text a friend.
Make sure it’s some one who knows you well, if your feeling sad ask to talk about your favorite things or places. I’ll ask my friends to talk about what we’ll do during our next Disney trip or how their kids or animals are doing. Sometimes I don’t want to just sit and talk about my feels. I want a distraction!
I know, we don’t always have the energy to talk to someone on the phone or even hold a texting conversation. A small way to feel connected is to go to your Facebook or Instagram and comment on a friends post. A small connection could help boost your moral.

Take a shower or a bath.
Now you don’t have to get all fancy and get the bath bombs, and the oils or rose petals or whatever the new trendy bath time thing is (unless you want to, then go for it!! You do you Boo!). If you have the energy take your time washing your hair and skin, it’s been on this journey called life with you and deserves your attention to honor it! Give yourself the love, care, and attention that you deserve! Keep giving yourself positive affirmations and declarations of self love! There is no room for negativity here! Remember you are NOT your thoughts. The “oh I’m so fat.” or “Ugh look how ugly I look.” Um excuse me? You do not get to talk to yourself like that. I know it sounds a little out there but, I turn around and make eye contact with myself in the mirror and apologize to myself and then say something nice OUT LOUD. If I think, “Ugh I look so fat.” before getting in the shower, I’ll whip my ass around and make eye contact with myself in the mirror and say, “I am sorry for the way I spoke to you, that is unacceptable. Your body has gotten you through the toughest times in your life. Respect it. Now, you are beautiful and you are going to honor yourself with some grapefruit ginger body scrub so your skin is soft because you deserve it. I love you.” and then move right along in to the shower.
This is something that you are doing for you and if you get out and lay around in your towel for a bit… so be it! I do the same! There is nothing like getting out of the shower and laying on your bed scrolling through instagram or TikTok or catching up on blog posts in your towel to just escape and relax a bit.

Watch your favorite tv show or movie.
I read recently that people with anxiety tend to watch the same things over and over because it gives them the comfort that they know exactly what is going to happen and how it is going to end. If your looking to branch out, on Netflix if you click the show it shows 3 suggestions to watch. Sometimes it will have some of the same actors or be the same type of show you were watching. I look for shows with similar story lines. I love me a good show set in the south like Hart of Dixie or Sweet Magnolias! I also love shows set in New York like Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, and I recently started Younger on HULU. These shows I know I can leave on in the background and just let play for a little comfort and noise in my house (I don’t always like it so quiet).

So what are your self care/love tips? Big or small? Is it reading a book in a quiet corner of the house? Journaling? Just getting lost in all the hilarious skits on TikTok? Do you snuggle with your pets or kids (or a pillow while you watch a show? That’s what I do.)
Let me know in the comments! Also, what is your favorite Netflix show? I need some new ones!

Be safe and take care of yourself.

With love,
Jenny

Taking a step back

I am taking a step back

I rush rush rush to have the answers

I never relax and let it come to me, I immediately seek and discover

I don’t have the answer right now.

I don’t know. And that is uncomfortable.

I need to sit in the uncomfortable and explore why I feel like that here.

I had the realization that I am not strong in some of my convictions.

I waffle

I change my opinion

I don’t stand up for what I believe in

What I stand on is shaky legs and a wobbly foundation.

So I get quiet. And I let them change my mind.

Those with strong foundations, and strong convictions.

With strength and power in their words and an endless list of facts to prove their points

My facts don’t come to me at the ready like them. My facts are small and quiet and lesser in number.

I feel it. I may not have the facts but I feel it.

I hear their words. Hear the sense they make and breathe in their truth.

But once they leave… and I exhale… all their words leave and I am left again with questions for their facts and truths, and my feelings on how they are wrong.

My ideas and hopes and thoughts and truths deep in my soul deep in my being are rattled and angered that someone feels like the can come in deny my truth say how I am wrong and why I should feel different and the vessel I am in let’s them.

I let them push down and bottle my truth. My convictions.

I let them come in with their loud voices and big egos as to why what they believe is the only way things must be and how I am wrong and weak for thinking other wise.

So

I am taking a step back.

I am strengthening my voice, my convictions.

I will not barge in with a big ego or a loud voice to rumble their foundations.

I will not tell them they are wrong and make them feel small and weak.

I will NOT engage in activities where my morals and values and FEELINGS are questioned.

I have let my open compassionate mind be over run.

And it stops now.

My foundation is being reinforced

My shaky legs are in solid ground.

I have a power that is different and I will not shame others for theirs.

I will not answer hostile questions.

I don’t care about your hostility being projected on me under the guise of “I’m genuinely curious how you could think that.”

My thoughts

My soul

My power

My feelings…

Are none of your damn business

And I will no longer engage in distressing dialogue that does not serve me.

Check your ego

Lower your voice

Leave me alone.

My life is not yours to shape and mold.

It’s mine to do with as I please.

Tomorrow

There is always a tomorrow.

I always say tomorrow.

Tomorrow awaits a better me.

I’ll paint tomorrow.

I’ll dance tomorrow.

I’ll do the work to be a better me tomorrow.

Let me enjoy who I am today.

Value what I am doing today more than what I wanted to do tomorrow because I can do it tomorrow.

I can be a better me tomorrow

I can change my life tomorrow

Wake up early tomorrow

Work out tomorrow

Be creative… tomorrow.

Today I will do all the things not worthy of tomorrow.

Today I will do my last or this or that and never do it again tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will be better.

Do you know what awaits tomorrow?

Tomorrow becomes today and I am the same.

Tomorrow is always something I’m doing later and now now.

Tomorrow is worthy while today is not.

Today has been wasted

I spent to much time today in my phone

I spent today in bed

I didn’t shower today

I didn’t paint today

I didn’t create or release today.

Today belonged to others and not me.

Tomorrow holds the hope and promise of a new.

Today I will try again tomorrow.

In search…

I crave nature, a morning routine that doesn’t have a time constraint.

A hand in my heart while I breathe.

I want to feel connected to my body and the earth.

I want to create, to paint, to photograph, to sing and dance for fun not when I have time.

To be… uninterrupted

To have time to enjoy the weather and the changing of seasons

For time to just slow down as I enjoy my coffee

To sleep well and be rested

To be mindful

To share what I’ve learned and continue to learn

To be a beacon of hope and light.

To satisfy my craving for adventure.

To feel free

To feel love

To feel whole.

And so I begin…

Oh boy… Okay, I am starting a blog. I have no idea at this moment in my life what will become of this. Will this take off or just sit in a dusty old corner of the internet? I guess only time will tell. I guess I’ll start with introducing who I am and where I am right now.

My name is Jenny and I have always had this pull, this feeling that I was to share my life with people, I guess that’s why I have always gravitated to acting. It’s why I moved back to Southern California when I was 23 ya know, to become an actress. That didn’t happen (obviously) I met my now husband 4 days after moving in with my Aunt, so much for no distractions! I got a job at Starbucks so I could transfer to Los Angeles when I had enough money saved up. However fate had different plans. I ended up being good at my job and had a hard time saying no to upper management which then made me upper management. I had no intentions of becoming a store manager but when the position presented itself I nervously applied interviewed and got it.
My boss was always so surprised at how nervous I got before each interview stepping up into a higher roll or meeting new challenges. The truth was, I didn’t feel like I fit in. I moved up because I thought I was supposed to and with my relationship, we wanted to move in together and one day buy a house, so I stuck it out. I am too silly and funny and I let my partners get away with a ton of shit because… well I got them, I was them.
I left Starbucks last year, and while I miss the company itself and all it stands for and the wonderful people who work there, I don’t miss the position of Store Manager. I always thought maybe I’d come back in a different roll one day but where I’m at now is so amazing!
I work for a flavor company, and it is amazing. We are a smaller company and I work in my little office Monday through Friday and I couldn’t be happier to have a set schedule! I can plan my life again! I have weekends off!
I love to spend my time with my friends and go to places like the Colorado River, and Lake Havasu, Ocotillo Wells. I also love enjoying the sun (which is why as I type this I am outside on a towel on my patio enjoying a sparkling water!)

I love YouTube! Like Loooooove it haha, I just made another video announcing my return. I mentioned in the video that I feel like I’ve been asleep. As if I’m not living life to its fullest potential.
For so long my life was determined by others, and by my passiveness to “Not rock the boat.”
I rarely stood up for myself.
Rarely told people what I actually think about a situation.
Rarely disagreed.

I’ve always been scared that what I want and who I am and what I think will come with this heavy burden of judgments. I found that I had stuck myself in a box and that I could no longer move or grow.

Heres what snapped me out…

I realized there will always be judgements, there will always be opinions that differ, and there will ALWAYS be another way of doing things.

If I stay complacent, I am letting down the most important person. Me.

None of us were made to be the supporting actress in our own lives.
I. Am. The. Main. Character.

And so are YOU!

Lets be the leading legends of our lives and take back control of our thoughts and dreams!

That’s what I am hoping to do here. I hope that I can build a community for all of us, those who see pieces of themselves in me and we can all grow and learn and move forward. In a way it feels like it’s just the beginning and at 30 almost 31, I’m here to say that just because I don’t have my shit together I am still worthy of love and living my truth.

I hope that I can be a source of inspiration, a girl friend or sister to turn to if you’ve had a bad day and need to laugh, someone who has been there, done that, and did it again.

Leave me a comment, telling me how old you are and what makes you shine!
For me it’s what I posted above, getting sunshine (with sunglasses of course!)
Looking forward to meeting you!